The Surprising (or Unsurprising) Reasons for Internalized Homophobia

The LGBTQ+ community is rich in history, culture, and (most importantly to us) psychology-related topics to talk about. The concept of these gender and sexual identities that deviate from the “norm” is quite interesting to research on. You can learn, not only about the identities, but the psychology it is based on. We have done just so in the past, with articles on asexuality and aromanticism. However, this isn’t only about the LGBTQ+ community; it’s also about the people who desperately don’t want to be a part of it. That’s what internalized homophobia is, and this article is here to tell you all about it.

Homophobia

Before we talk about internalized homophobia, we need to discuss general homophobia. According to the Marriam-Webster dictionary, homophobia is the “discrimination against, aversion to, or fear of homosexuality or gay people”. When we think of homophobia, we often think of the homophobes who are very explicit with their hate. They might be creating online hate content against gay people, protesting homosexual rights, or even just being staunchly against homosexuality when the topic comes up in conversation.

The Subtle Manifestation of Homophobia

However, homophobia is not only there in people who are expressive of it; homophobia can also manifest in subtle ways. In fact, it is sometimes so subtle that the person perpetuating it doesn’t even realize it is homophobia. It can also be through the “gay best friend” mindset. This is where your view of gay people is based on how they can serve you rather than their own individual autonomy. Homosexual people are then something you want to have, not simply coexist with. 

Another subtle form of homophobia is indulging in adult homosexual content, specifically as a non-homosexual person. While some may try to argue that it is appreciative of homosexual relations, this is an extremely false argument. This content is often created by non-homosexual people for non-homosexual people, without a hint of inclusion of the subject of these contents (aka gay people). Consuming such media is not in appreciation of the homosexual identity; it is a fetishization of gay people as, again, another way to serve your own personal interests.

Not wanting to be around people due to their homosexuality is obviously homophobic, but the reasoning might make you think twice. Some people want to avoid homosexuals, gay and lesbian, of similar gender to them. It’s the incorrect perception that somehow being homosexual automatically makes you more sexually inclined to everyone of the gender you are attracted to. People use this as a reasoning to avoid gay and lesbian people, but all it truly is is homophobia.

You Might be Doing it Without Thinking…

Do you say “that’s so gay” when you see someone, especially a man, doing something you find embarrassing or “too feminine”? Or do you say you are an ally to the LGBTQ+ community “as long as they don’t make it their whole personality.” Well, surprise surprise, if this is a normal thing for you to say then you are homophobic.

Let’s start with the first comment. Saying “that’s so gay” to refer to something you particularly dislike is already drawing a connection between gayness and negativity, meaning you see homosexuality as something to be ashamed of (and yes, even if you don’t think you do). If you say the same words towards something feminine. Specifically a man doing something feminine, that is exposing your stereotype of gay men. Gay men do not equal femininity—sexuality has nothing to do with gender expression, so it is incorrect, and even homophobic, to equate the two.

Like it or not, telling homosexual people to “not make being gay their whole personality” is homophobic. You support gay people as long as they don’t march in pride parades, disrupting your peaceful mornings every once in a while. You’re fine with LGBTQ+ as long as they don’t have pins on their bag or stickers on their laptop about their community. You can tolerate homosexuality as long as it’s silent. In saying that “homosexuality should not be your whole personality” you are actually saying “why can’t you be gay in a way I don’t have to know?” You are silencing the people, not supporting them. You are perpetuating the homophobia they’ve been fighting for years and hiding by a “nuanced perspective” to do it. There is nothing nuanced there. It’s masking bigotry.

What is Internalized Homophobia?

Ok, now that we’ve gone over homophobia in general, let’s get to the meat of this article—internalized homophobia. According to this research paper, internalized homophobia is when a homosexual person has a negative view of their own sexuality. They sometimes even reject it as a whole. As you can see from this definition, internalized homophobia isn’t always suppressing sexuality. Majority of the time, it’s just hatred for your homosexual identity and a desire to be heterosexual instead.

The Coming Out Process

Internalized, as you would imagine, has numerous negative effects on the individual. One of them being its effects on the coming out process. Coming out is short for “coming out of the closet”. This is essentially when someone reveals their sexuality to the people around them. Coming is incredibly important in the journey of any LGBTQ+ individual. It aids deeply in accepting their identity as not only a part of their own lives, but a part of the lives of those around them. It also helps them find the community that truly accepts you instead of the one they currently have. As this research paper explains, internalized homophobia disrupts this process and inhibits the relief it should give to the individual. While they would most likely still come out to direct family, people internalized homophobia are not likely to come out to people outside of that circle.

The Connection Between Homophobia and Homosexuality

Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, there’s a much stronger connection between homophobes and homosexuality past their hatred for it. In fact, this study suggests that most homophobes are actually homosexual as well. In the study, there was a group of non-homophobic straight men and homophobic self-proclaimed straight men. Both groups were shown a series of sexually explicit same-sex videos, including both male and female. The homophobes showed increased arousal towards the male homosexual videotapes which was not found similarly in non-homophobes.

Well, what are the implications of such a study? It somewhat suggests that the majority of homophobia might be internalized homophobia. Seeing that the group of homophobes did experience sexual arousal in face of homosexual content, you can say they might be homosexual. This would mean their homophobia might be coming from a place of hatred for their own personal identity.

Conclusion

Internalized homophobia, like many other manifestations of insecurity, is hatred for one’s own identity projected onto a person or community. In many ways, most forms of -isms and -phobias can be traced back to insecurity. For example, xenophobes, people who hate immigrants and foreigners, often argue that immigrants are taking employment opportunities from those who are already living in the country. This can often be interpreted as the xenophobes insecurity with their own capabilities and economic and employment position rather than an actual argument. Of course, this isn’t the only reason people are xenophobic but can most definitely be a contributing factor.

Ultimately, internalized homophobed are only going to hurt. Hurt the people their hatred is directed at, the people who might be learning from them, and hurt their own selves. The only way out is to release yourself from this trap is to accept yourself, whether you are what you want to be or not.