Welcome back to Diary of the Mind everyone! If you’ve been here long enough, you know what’s given on here. All sorts of tips and tricks to be able to make your life better. From mental health days, to academic validation, to productivity, studying, and time management tips, there is all sorts of information on here for students to use. However, today we have something different. Something more. Today we have a story, the story of a burnt out honors student.
This piece was written by Moyin Agbaosi, creator of For the Feed, is a high school student who knows firsthand what it’s like to face burnout, pressure, and the complicated expectations of those around her. Through personal reflection, she shares her story not just to vent, but to validate, encourage, and inspire other students walking the same path and going through the same struggles.
The Story of a Burnt Out Honors Student
“The problem with being gifted is that you’re told you have wings, but no one teaches you how to fly” – Unknown
“Gifted” was a word that had always been used to describe me. A child who could memorize things quickly, solve hard problems fast, and impress adults with answers I always seemed to have. I was moved from honors classes to accelerated learning programs to enrichment activities. Teachers praised my potential. In a way, being a “gifted child” is one of the things that led to many problems in my academic career. At a very young age, it was pounded into my head that because I was “gifted,” I didn’t need to work hard to achieve things. And for the first half of my life, that’s what I did.
The Downfall
It was around middle school when things started to fall apart. Even at my young age, I managed to hide the worst of my slowly dropping grades from my mom and dad, who were kind, though strict, Nigerian parents, and my friends. About a month before the last day of school, my report card arrived in the mail. I remember cowering next to my parents, knowing that what was written on that letter would disappoint them. And …well…I can say that it definitely did. After years of being the top of my class, by my 13th birthday, I was just burnt out.
My parents pulled me out of school, and I started the seventh grade as a homeschool student. It was terrible. It was kind of a hybrid school, not fully homeschool, so I went to school twice a week. The days I stayed at home blurred together, packed full with worksheets and assignments I completed almost mechanically, trying to convince myself that I was the same honors student I was before. And even though I was getting better grades, I felt disconnected, lonely, and unmotivated.
The Start to Change
Fast forward to about a year. I sat under my covers late into the night watching random videos on the internet, when I suddenly remembered one of my old best friends, back at the school from earlier. It was then I decided to just do a simple Google search. I stayed up past midnight just googling all my former classmates and friends and reading about their achievements. So and so was valedictorian of her class, and so and so got first chair in orchestra. It was that moment I realized that I was behind, and that I was losing a race I didn’t even know I was competing in. Because even though I started in the same place as everybody else, they were far ahead of me in every aspect, becoming the honors student, the leaders, the achievers— roles I had always believed would be mine.
It is common knowledge that you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people, as it can be very toxic. But in my case, the opposite happened. Sometimes the best way to find yourself is to watch what others are doing and decide you want something more. I felt a mix of emotions: jealousy, regret, but also a surge of determination. Seeing everyone make something of their lives motivated me to want to do the same with mine. It wasn’t too late to change.
A New Beginning
The next morning, I decided I needed to do something. Now it is important to know that I didn’t start improving all at once—no one does. I didn’t wake up and suddenly become the honors student I used to be. Improvement is not linear. There were ups and downs, highs and lows, good grades and bad grades. Something that helped was actually enjoying learning. I watched entertaining documentaries about what I was learning in class, my friends and I did interesting experiments to better understand what we were learning, etc.
And sometimes, it may be other things that are affecting your academic performance. When I finally started to enjoy homeschooling, I made friends who had the same aspirations as I do, and we motivated each other and kept each other accountable. They were people who I didn’t feel like I was in constant competition with, people who I could celebrate wins with them even if they did better than me, knowing they would do the same for me.
In the end, you just need to realize that your grades don’t define you or how your success in life. Being an honors student isn’t about the title or the class. It’s about finding what drives you, working for it, and growing through the process.
And just know, things do get better.
~ Moyin Agbaosi
Conclusion
That’s absolutely the right message—things do get better. That’s exactly why we have to keep trying. Keep trying to better ourselves, our lives, and our mental health. It is through our own effort and perseverance that we can curate a life that’s worth living. Both oftentimes, it feels like that may never happen. It feels like nothing is ever going to go your way, and there’s nothing you can do to save yourself.
However, regardless of how impossible it may seem, there will always be a sliver of hope. That’s why these stories are here. To show you, that in anyone’s darkest times, there is always hope to get back on your feet. When you read stories like these, you will learn that you’re not alone in this world. There are people who feel the same way as you do. It doesn’t matter how big or small your problems may seem. There is always hope and always a second chance, as long as you try at it.
