Sometimes, we’re really just not happy, no matter how much we try to be. Things just don’t go your way, and everything is just too much. There just doesn’t seem to be anything left in the world to be happy about. Happiness seems like a long-lost childhood dream, a fantasy, not something that can be a reality. But hey, don’t worry. Isn’t that why you’re reading this? Because you want to be happy, and trust me, it is not a fantasy. Here is how to be happier as a teen in five, simple steps.
#1 – Why Are You Not Happy?
This is the first step, and you really can’t get anywhere else without recognizing this. Like I’ve said before, recognizing the issue is the first step to fixing it, and it definitely applies to becoming happier. Ask yourself — why exactly am I not happy? Is it my grades, or a relationship, or maybe my social life? Is it doing too much, or not doing enough?
I know what you may say. It’s everything. Everything in my life makes it impossible to be happy. And that may be true, but even with multiple causes, it can’t just be “everything”. Let’s say you are unhappy because of school and your sports. Why do those make you unhappy? Is it the extensive effort you have to put in? Is it the lack of time it leaves you to do what you want? Trust me, there is a common denominator.
#2 – Change Your Mindset
Step number two, you have to change your mindset. You’re not going to get happier if you keep thinking negatively, and it’s up to you to change it. And, you might be thinking, “I don’t think negatively, so what is there to change in my mindset?”. Well, you might be wrong. Negative self-talk can appear in many different ways, and in any way it does come, it will be pretty detrimental to your happiness.
Negative Mindset
So how do you catch this subtly negative self-talk? Well, do these thoughts, or ones similar, regularly run through your head.
- “I hate math. It’s so hard and I’ll never get it.”
- “Why doesn’t my sister get anything, she’s so annoying.”
- “Dance is so exhausting. It takes all of my time and I can’t do anything else.”
As valid as these thoughts may be, they are contributing to the negativity you are building up, ultimately making you perceive everything unhappily. You see, if you say such negative things about your life so often, that negativity will embed itself into your perception, and you will be unhappy about everything. Now it’s time to change all that.
Positive Mindset
What mindset do you want? You want a growth mindset, and a positive mindset. I know you’ve heard this many times before, but it is true. How can you expect yourself to grow and be happy when all you do is tell yourself statements that allow the exact opposite? If you tell yourself that you “can’t do math” because it’s “so hard”, you’ll never be able to be better at math, even if you had the ability to. Let’s rephrase those same thoughts above in a different way:
- “Math is really hard, but if I study, ask questions, and maybe get a tutor, I’ll be able to get it.”
- “My sister might not be as smart as I am, but she’s still my sister. It’s up to me to help her get smarter.”
- “Dance is very time-consuming, but that’s because it’s something I love doing. No amount of time could add up to the joy I feel while dancing.”
Do you see the difference? It’s much more positive. Now, we didn’t reject the problem itself. Each thought starts with the problem as well. What it does is it allows for action to fix what’s making you unhappy. That’s the difference. There’s no need to deny what’s making you unhappy, but you do need to find a solution to it.
#3 – Develop Healthy Habits
Next step, start taking those actions. It’s not just thoughts that count, but what you do as well. Make sure what you are doing is something that will help you and your mental health, not make you feel worse and more unhappy after the initial pleasure. Here are some healthier habits you should consider investing in:
- Journaling : Great for understanding yourself and helping you mental health (click here to learn more about journaling).
- Go out in nature : Seeing the greenery and breathing the fresh air will always be better than rotting on your bed.
- Eat nutritious food : Healthy food is not only good for your body, but also good for your mind. Getting rid of that junk food will make you feel a lot lighter than you did before.
- Practice Gratitude : Being grateful can help you happiness and mental health immensely (click here to learn more about the greatness of practicing gratitude).
- Get Physically Active : Your body releases chemicals during exercise that help improve your mood and help with stress, depression, and anxiety.
These are just a few healthy habits you should add into your schedule if you want to see changes in your mood. Essentially, you want to spend your time doing something “productive”, not something for pure, brainless entertainment. You want to do something that will actively help you feel happier in the long-run, not just those short boosts of dopamine you get while scrolling.
A healthier lifestyle is a happier lifestyle, and it’s incredibly important to start being healthy if you want to be happy.
#4 – Connect with Others
Social connections are also very important, for everything in your life. You need to be around people, and have good relationships with them, and it can be a pretty disappointing fact for some of us.
Humans are naturally social beings. We need to be around other humans for our own mental well-being. The extent of social interaction varies from person to person, but no lack of sociality can take away your need to be around other people.
Just engage with your family and friends. Talk to them about your day, or a specific topic you like. Watch a movie with them every now and then, or play board games. All you need to do is be with the people you are closest to.
Make sure you also have people to talk to in school. You’re spending 8+ hours a day in that building, it would be extremely helpful to have someone to talk to throughout it. Make sure you talk to your peers there, and even the teachers if you want. Make sure you are social, to some extent. Loneliness will never make you happy.
#5 – Do What Truly Makes You Happy
This is the most important thing to remember if you want to be happy in the long run. You can only be happy if what you do makes you happy. And that’s in anything you do.
If doing track makes you miserable, why are you still doing it? Is it for college applications? Because your parents told you to do it? Track is such a commitment, and there isn’t a point in doing it when you can be doing something you love.
Of course, it might be hard trying to tell your parents you want to quit. And sometimes, it might not work. But the most important thing is that you try. You have to try telling them what you enjoy doing and what you don’t. What happens after that, happens. Regardless, you are taking action to try and make yourself happier.
In place of these unneeded extracurriculars, try something you’ll genuinely enjoy. These can be any sports or creative activities. Just make sure you genuinely enjoy these activities. Here are some ideas:
- Drawing and painting
- Writing (prose, poems, journalism, etc)
- Crocheting or knitting
- Photography and videography
The ideas I’ve given you here are ones that are not very time-taking, and allow you to work at your own pace. They are truly a hobby, and can only be done if you enjoy practicing it. These artistic explorations can be greatly therapeutic, and are an amazing way to relax after a stressful day of doing things that are not-so-enjoyable.
Conclusion
Well, now you know how to be happier as a teen. There are so many ways you can be making yourself unhappy, and so many ways you can make yourself happy again. You now have a step-by-step guide to making your life happier and healthier.
It’s important for you to understand that you do have power. School and parents may feel extremely overpowering, taking over your life and draining you of all your happiness. You may feel like you can’t do anything about the many things making you unhappy.
The thing is, you can.
At the end of the day, no matter what happens, your happiness is up to you. Remember those thoughts we walked through? Adding just a few words automatically made it so much more positive, constructive, and actionable. It;s up to you to carry that out in your life. No matter what hurdles come your way, think in ways that will help you be happier. Accept what’s happening, but also build a path to a solution, to way past whatever negatively is temporarily halting you.
Your happiness is in your hands, but I know this article will help you along the way.
