How to Deal With Being Ugly

Being ugly. It’s one of the biggest fears for many of us teenagers. You’re no longer a clueless little kid who has no regard for their own appearance. The more you exist, the more aware you become of your own existence, and the more it makes you hate it. And once you realize it, being ugly is not something you can just ignore. Instead, it rots in your mind everyday, almost taking over your everyday thoughts. It’s truly terrible, and more often than not, it’s something you can’t really change. It feels almost impossible to know how to deal with being ugly.

However, living in that miserable state of mind purely because of being ugly is not how you want to live your whole life. It’s going to eat away at your own being and your life won’t feel worth living. And all of that is just because of your appearance. So, here is how to live your best life while being ugly.

Accept It

The first thing you need to do to deal with being ugly is to accept that you are ugly. It’s pretty popular for the “positivity” in the media to be constantly telling everyone that they are “beautiful in their own way.” However, while seemingly being nice, it is actually a very false statement that can be detrimental for your own health and self-perception.

Like anything in this world, beauty lives with an opposite—ugly. Without a general perception of what is “ugly”, nothing can ever be perceived as “beautiful.” That’s what makes the “everyone is beautiful in their own way” statement false as that suggests that there is no ugliness in this world, but without ugliness, beauty doesn’t exist.

On top of that, when you go out anywhere, nobody seems to stick to that sentiment. People are judgmental, and with a world that is increasingly pushed to visual perfection with the media, they are even more judgmental of those who don’t fit their standards. The “positivity” that the media likes to perpetuate disappears the moment you enter the real world, and it isn’t going to serve you well to keep believing in them.

So, instead of trying to make yourself feel better with these statements, accept that your visuals aren’t aesthetically pleasing. Accept that you might be ugly, and that it’s ok for that to be the case. The truth is, it doesn’t matter what you look like if you do your best to be the best person you are. The people shallow enough to think that appearance has as much value as character aren’t the people you want to be around.

Practice Healthy Habits

Another incredibly important thing to deal with being ugly remember to do is practice healthy habits. Of course, you should be practicing healthy habits regardless of your appearance. Healthy habits like eating healthy food, exercising daily, practicing self-hygiene, and sleeping well. However, they can also be very helpful when you are ugly.

This study of Polish University students found that students with high self-esteem were typically those who regularly participated in physical activity. Whether they were conventionally attractive or not was not measured—the data was purely based on body composition and exercise. Clearly these results show that keeping your body healthy and active can do wonders for your self-esteem, especially when you stop thinking about it for your own looks. Being physically active will always be important for your life, whether it’s to prevent disease, promote longevity of your life, or to improve your mental health.

Hygiene is also a big part of practicing healthy habits. For example, this study found a strong positive correlation between oral hygiene and self-esteem. In other words, doing things like flossing and brushing your teeth are associated with having a positive perception of yourself. However this doesn’t end at oral hygiene. General hygiene, like washing your face, body, and hair can all improve your self-esteem. Why? Well, you are taking the initiative to keep your body clean and just doing so can give you a sense of accomplishment. 

Stop Caring for Outside Opinion

I know this might be a bit of an overused piece of advice, but if you really take it to heart, it will make huge changes to your mentality and help you deal with being ugly. The reason you feel so terrible about being ugly is because of the way others treat you or see you for it. It’s true. People do judge others for not having the most aesthetically pleasing appearance, and some may go as far as to tell you about it. Comments like these are hurtful to you and your self-esteem, and you will start hating your appearance all together. What you need to remember is to not take those comments to heart. Appearance is not something you can change, and so long as you are a good person, there is no reason to dislike you. 

But of course, you might be judging yourself for your appearance. However, this judgment comes from the importance that society places on beauty, not necessarily just from yourself. You believe ugliness is a flaw because others see it as a flaw, and others see it as such because of how normalized it is in society to place importance on appearance. 

Recognize Your Own Merit

Finally, realize you are more than what you look like. Think about it: what value does beauty have? How does being beautiful contribute to your character, your skills, or your abilities? How does beauty dictate how successful or good a person you are and will be? The truth is, it doesn’t. It holds no importance or impact to any of those qualities. It’s simply what you appear to be, and that appearance is based mainly on your genetics. It is beyond your control, whether you are ugly or pretty, and hence not something that adds or takes from your own character. It means, or at least should mean, nothing.

Even though appearance might play a significant role in society, you can still change the role it plays within your own self-perception and mental health. Look deep within yourself and see something positive besides appearance. Is there a hobby you are good at? A sport? Are you always trying to help others? Are you an intellectual or artistic person?

Those are the qualities that matter. Why? Because those are the qualities you build yourself. Your talents and your character are things you take the time to develop yourself. Those are what indicate the kind of person you are, and therefore are the most important things about you.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, what you need to realize for yourself is that your ugliness is not a bad thing at all. It isn’t a negative to your character, and it doesn’t have an affect on the kind of person you are. Truthfully, your ugliness means nothing, and to truly make it mean nothing in your life, you have to make it mean nothing to yourself. The best way to deal with being ugly is to know that you are more than it will ever be.