“Am I Asexual?” How to Know If You are Asexual

In this day and age, we are all seeing a rising acceptance towards minority identities, including that of gender and sexuality. When society previously diminished the LGBTQ+ community, making them seem non-existent to heterosexuals, the younger generations were never made aware of such identities. However, in recent years, more and more of us have access to the internet and other resources where we can learn about these communities. Sometimes, we might find ourselves questioning if we are a part of them.

The question I’d expect you to be asking is this: am I asexual? That’s probably the reason you clicked on this article. You don’t know if this sexuality could be somehting you align with, the sexuality benign asexuality. Well, if you are questioning, then you have come to the right place. You can start learning what asexuality really is and the entire spectrum to see where you really lie.

What is Asexuality?

First things first: what is asexuality? The basic definition would be the lack of sexual attraction. Someone who is asexual typically does not have many sexual desires the way anyone else would. However, there is still a spectrum to asexuality. While some may fluctuate between sexual desires and the intensity of it, others may be entirely repulsed by sexual activities and ideas. Regardless, all these people fall under the asexual label as their sexuality, or lack thereof, is different than that of the general public. Understanding this is the first step to answering the questions “am I asexual?”.

Many people may also be aroace. This is when they experience neither sexual nor romantic attraction. “Aro–” stands for “aromantic” while “ace–” stands for “asexual”. The overlap of the asexual and aromantic communities is very common, hence the creation of an entirely new label for these people. Everything you need to know about the aroace community is right here in this article. If you think you might be aroace, make sure to check it out!

The Spectrum Asexuality

If you’ve read until here, you might think you are asexual. However, as I’ve mentioned before, the asexual community is no monolith. There is a wide spectrum of asexuality, and even if you don’t know if you are explicitly asexual, there might be an identity that can best describe you. Knwoing these will allow you to fully answer your question: am I asexual? Here are some of the micro labels under the asexuality spectrum:

Asexual

Someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction. 

Demisexual

Someone who only experiences sexual attraction when an emotional bond is formed with their sexual partner. Until they feel an emotional connection with another, they would not feel any sexual desires.

Graysexual

Someone who experiences infrequent and inconsistent sexual attraction. Sexual desires are far from regular or normal to them but they still might experience them or engage in sexual activities.

Lithosexual

Someone who experiences sexual attraction until the attraction is reciprocated. They may feel sexual desires and/or fantasies but once the subject of arousal reflects similar desires, the attraction would diminish.

Aceflux

Someone who experiences sexual attraction in fluctuation with time and intensity. They may go through periods of no attraction, weak attraction, or strong attraction, each being different lengths in time.

Acespike

Someone who also experiences fluctuation but periods of attraction are short and intense. Similar to aceflux, they may experience periods of no attraction, weak attraction, or strong attraction, but the periods of strong attraction would be very quick.

Fictosexual

Someone who only experiences sexual attraction for fictional characters. You might find yourself attracted to characters in TV shows, books, movies, or video games but people in real life don’t catch your interest.

Fraysexual

Someone who experiences sexual attraction with strangers but loses attraction once they get to know their subject of attraction. This is almost the opposite of a demisexual as emotional connection makes you lose sexual interest in them.

Apothisexual

Someone who is repulsed by sexual attraction. They not only hardly have any sexual desires, but they also find it disgusting and repulsive to engage in.

Reciprosexual

Someone who is only sexually attracted to those who are sexually attracted to them. This would be the opposite of a lithosexual, experiencing sexual desires to some when they only reciprocate it, not only when they don’t.

Caedsexual

Someone who once experienced sexual attraction but lost it due to traumatic events. 

Cupiosexual

Someone who does not experience sexual attraction but still desires and enjoys sexual relationships and experiences. They do not personally have a sex drive but still partake in sexual activities, including with other people.

Requiessexual

Someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction due to emotional exhaustion. However, they may experience sexual attraction when they are not emotionally exhausted.

Aegosexual

Someone who may fantasize or partake sexual activities but does not feel desire sexual relations with another person and does not have a sex drive. Essentially, they feel a disconnect between themselves and the subject of arousal.

Bellusexual

Someone interested in the concept and aesthetic of sex but does not have a desire to partake in it themselves.

Myrsexual

Someone who aligns with multiple micro labels under the asexuality spectrum. Many of these micro labels can overlap so you can.

Libidoist Asexual

Someone who does not experience sexual attraction towards other people but still has a sex drive.

Conclusion

At this point, you’ve probably found the answer to your questions of “am I asexual”. Knowing the immense amount of micro labels that fall under the umbrella term of asexuality really helps you hone in on what your sexuality is, especially when it’s inconsistent, confusing, or just simply uncommon. However, this is just the beginning to your journey in understanding your asexuality. After all, what I have listed is simply a small number of the many different types of people who are asexual.

However, I would like to stress that you do not need to fit any of these labels. You don’t need to categorize parts of your identity into simpler boxes, and you don’t need to figure it all out right now. It can be very confusing and brain-cluttering. For some of you, it’s not fun putting labels on yourself just to understand your identity. Sometimes, it’s better to just exist, and that’s completely okay.