Everything You Need to Know About the Aroace Community

A lot of new things have happened in this century. With a push for more diversity and openness to other communities (despite the rise of conservatism), many have felt more encouraged to share their own identities. One of the leading groups in this change has been the LGBTQ+ community. While not entirely free from constraints of judgement and oppression, many of the LGBTQ+ community have been more comfortable in identifying with the community. In that same time, the general public began understanding the many other identities that fall under the umbrella of LGBTQ+. Before, most people knew they were gay, lesbian, and transgender. Now, we get to know that there are pansexual, nonbinary, genderfluid, and many more identities to exist there. One of these sexualities that has most recently become known is aroace.

Aroace not something you hear about regularly so it’s not something you might find as easy to learn about. It makes it even harder when you want to figure things out for yourself, seeing what identities might align with yourself.  Today, we will be discussing all of the basics you need to know about the aroace sexuality so you can maybe better understand yourself.

What Does it Mean to be Aroace?

First things first—what does it mean to be aroace? Well, first we have to dissect the abbreviation. Aroace stands for aromantic and asexual. According to the Collins Dictionary, aroace simply describes someone who experiences neither sexual or romantic attraction. That’s a aromantic (no romantic attraction) and asexual (no sexual attraction) but together. However, like most other things, it’s not quite that simple.

The Spectrum

There is a spectrum to the aroace sexuality. There are people on the aroace spectrum who may experience romantic or sexual attraction. However, that does not make them any less aroace. Here is a list of a few identities under the aroace spectrum from the LGBTQ+ Society of Oxford University that you might actually align with:

• Abroromantic / aro flux: someone who has fluctuations of romantic attraction along with its strength.
• Abrosexual / ace flux: someone has fluctuations of sexual attraction along with its strength.
• Akoiromantic/lithromantic: someone who may feel romantic attraction but does not want the feelings to be reciprocated.
• Akoisexual/lith(o)sexual: someone who may feel sexual attraction but does not want the feelings to be reciprocated.
• Apothisexual: someone who is asexual and sex-repulsed.
• Demi(a)romantic: someone who only feels romantic attraction after having an emotional connection with the other person.
• Demi-(a)sexual: someone who only feels sexual attraction after having an emotional connection with the other person.
• Grey-(a)romantic: someone who infrequently experiences romantic attraction.
• Grey-(a)sexual: someone who infrequently experiences sexual attraction.
• Quoiromantic/WTF-romantic: someone who is confused about romantic attraction and cannot identify it.
• Quoisexual: someone confused and/or unsure about sexual attraction.

My Personal Experience

I remember the first time I learnt about what aroace was. I was in middle school and we were all pretty freshly out of the COVID-19 lockdown. Being a 13-year-old with now (seemingly) unlimited access to the internet due to the former online school, YouTube had become my second home. Everyday, I’d wake up and go to school, anticipating when I could finally sit home. Finally, rushing home, I’d run to my room. It was just me and my computer. Immediately, I’d open a guest account, and type in, youtube.com. Immediately, my feed would be filled with all the channels I loved watching at the time. Mainly, it was animation YouTubers, one of my favorites being JaidenAnimations. 

One day, I opened my YouTube page to find JaidenAnimations had posted a new video titled this: “Being Not Straight”. Now, I was a 13-year-old who had practically lived on the internet during lockdown. I was no stranger to the LGBTQ+ community. That being said, I only really knew gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender. Regardless, I was intrigued with what my favorite YouTuber had to say so I opened the video.

I wasn’t met with what I had known, or what I had expected. Instead of saying she was just lesbian or bi, she said…something else. She was aroace.

I had never heard of this before, and I was intrigued. But more than that, I feel enlightened, in a way. Like the knowledge bestowed upon me from a YouTube video by my favorite YouTuber had opened my eyes to a reality that I never knew existed. And I will admit, it did feel validating. It felt like something that didn’t feel odd or unrelatable, but like something I could finally understand. 

Now…

Things change over time, like they always do. This YouTube discovery by 12-year-old me was by no means a defining factor in my identity, and neither should it be for you. This article could open your eyes into a community and identity you never knew existed, but it shouldn’t be the thing makes you know what you are.

Life isn’t about labeling yourself to fit into any community you might remotely be a part of. You’re constantly exploring who you are as a person, and while some labels may identify with you, it doesn’t need to be you. This is just to say that you don’t need to feel pressure to fully “figure” out your sexuality. At the end of the day, what does it matter? You should go about your life doing what makes you happy and helps those who truly need it, and if that fits a certain identity, then so be it. Of course, these communities are places for you to feel seen but also to form a coalition with people like yourself to fight the odds you might face. Whether you think yourself to be part of that community is up to you. Just remember, when times get hard, fight with the community that is right, even if you’ll never feel fully part of it.

Conclusion

Things change, of course. They always do. With the more you learn, the more your perception fot he world changes, along with your perception of yourself. But the important thing is that we know about things like this. It’s so important for us to learn about these different identities, not only to bring ourselves to be more understanding to these other communities, but also because it could lead us to learning osmehting about ourselves that we never  knew before.

If there’s one thing you take away, it’s that you should keep trying to learn. Whether it’s on Diary of the Mind or spanning the rest of this vast liminal realm known as the internet, there’s always something more for you to learn. You know the saying, “knowledge is power”? Well, it holds a lot of truth. The more you know and the more you understand, the more tools you have to be able to fight any obstacle that comes your way. The more power you have to change the world.